Somewhere between the headlines, policy revisions and never-ending meetings, the real issue of bullying is lost: the child.
Bullying is not a new phenomenon – cyberbullying achieves the same goal, but through a new medium. Yet the only time bullying is taken seriously is when a child is beaten up, murdered or commits suicide.
Most times it is simply written off as harmless schoolyard teasing.
Every teen movie or family TV drama has at least one character that is stopped for his lunch money, laughed at for his quirks or picked on for being a “geek,” “goth” or “freak.” This character often provides comic relief or is the underdog who is cheered when he pummels his assailant – think Steve Urkel of Family Matters” or Peter Parker from “Spider-Man.”
But bullying isn’t funny. It’s not a way to harden a shy child and prepare him or her for the “real world.”
It’s abuse.
The state Senate will soon address a bill that targets bullying, providing the schools the appropriate tools to label a situation, identify a problem and hopefully stop the abuse before it begins. The proposed bill, backed by state Rep. John Rogers, D-Norwood, defines bullying and cyberbullying as “unwelcome written, electronic, verbal or physical acts or gestures where a student feels coerced, intimidated, harassed or threatened.”
Within the proposed bill there are guidelines encouraging grade-appropriate lessons on acceptance at school and online. But it can’t end in the classroom.
In fact, it shouldn’t even begin there. The home is the first line of defense against bullying – including on the Internet. Parents should be involved in their children’s lives.
The proposed anti-bullying bill works to pull the parent into the solution, by requiring schools to inform parents of both the victims and perpetrators of bullying. But this only addresses the issue after the abuse happens and is reported.
Think: Do you know your kid’s friends? Does your child have a Facebook page or a YouTube account? Is your son dating? Has your daughter recently had a major upset in her social circle?
The answers to all these questions could be reached through conversation, even if it is one-sided. Yes, unlike the scripted TV or movie child, “real world” kids don’t always confide in their parents. But parents should keep a watchful eye and a listening ear. This is not to advocate that parents morph into Big Brother, because, quite honestly, kids will always outsmart them on the newest technology. But it’s not too much to ask that parents become involved in their kids social lives, even parents of teenagers.
