Ask Dog Lady: Dog will bond with the hand that feeds

Q: My partner, Al, and Tally, our just-adopted Cairn terrier, haven't quite bonded yet. Al is a bit impatient and although he hand-feeds her, she tends to growl and show teeth when he tries to play with her. I am sensing a bit of jealousy on both sides:

Al: Why does the dog like John better than me? Why doesn't she jump in my lap and kiss my face?

Tally: Who is this guy? I want John all to myself. Three's a crowd.

Oh, the burden of the pack leader. Please tell me how to break the cycle. JOHN

A: Dear John, enjoyed your cute playlet about the drama between Al and Tally but you shouldn't worry your handsome head about their dealings. You break the cycle by allowing these two enough space to work out their own relationship. And if there's jealousy on both sides, the crackle of contempt should ease into the warmth of acceptance over time.

Yes, being a pack leader is a burden but it's an enjoyable task as you've figured out. As part of primo honcho responsibilities, advise Al to stop hand-feeding Tally. She needs her own big-girl bowl. Oh sure, he can slip her a treat occasionally to reward her for doing something great and, quite frankly, to bribe her for cozying up to him. Al should also have the important task of putting down the kibble bowl at mealtimes so Tally expects great things from him.

Q: This is in response to your recent column about why the Obamas left Bo behind when they went to Hawaii:

As owners of a Portuguese water dog, we have taken a big interest in Bo Obama, the current White House dog. The reason why Bo did not accompany the Obamas to Hawaii had to do with the state's very strict rabies quarantine laws. Hawaii is the only rabies-free state, and they want to keep it that way. If you go to this site http://hawaii.gov/hdoa/ai/aqs/aqsbrochure.pdf you will easily see why the Obamas did not take Bo on their vacation.

During her recent TV interview, Oprah Winfrey asked the president what his daughters liked about living in the White House. He said that it was Bo they liked most. They all take turns walking the dog. Bo stays in the family quarters at night. And, he follows Michelle around the East Wing. I don't think we can judge how much the family has bonded with Bo or how he fits into the family hierarchy based on his unwanted barking at Santa Claus during Christmas. PORTIE FANS

A: Dear Portie Fans, in suggesting the bond between the First Family and Bo, the First Dog, might not be the sturdiest link, Dog Lady feels remorse. Bo has a good life. Unfortunately, many dogs end up in shelters or the rescue system because they lack a warm human house and a bond. The Obamas are private. They protect their daughters and Bo from an insistent public. This protection should not be confused with the lack of a connection. Dog Lady regrets reaching that conclusion.

Q: We got Harley, a rescue dog (Yorkshire terrier) whom we think is 4 years old. He's a male dog that was never neutered and was obviously abused by a man because he hates my husband. When my husband tries to get in bed the dog barks and goes to attack him. He becomes vicious. I don't know what to do, and my husband wants to give the dog away. I also have to have him wear a diaper because although he is potty trained he marks his territory randomly. Please help me. I know none of this is his fault. CHERYL

A: Dear Cheryl, your last sentence seals the deal. You're right. Harley has done nothing wrong. Is he neutered now? If not, he should be snipped immediately. This is a very easy veterinary process. And it should be inexpensive because no reputable vet charges steeply for this necessary procedure. After Harley is fixed, he should stop the piddle marking behavior.

Also, after castration, he should be calmer and more amenable to your hubby and others.

And, please, do one very important thing: ban him from your bed. Harley is still learning about what's his and what's yours. Your bed belongs to you and your husband, not Harley. Buy Harley his own cozy bed and place it in the same room. For the first few nights, direct him to his nest. You can sweeten the deal by including a couple of his toys and a few treats in his cushions.

Harley needs his own place just as your husband needs to get into bed and not have a Yorkie attack him. The way to ensure this is to let the little guy know you're the boss.

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