From time to time you may find yourself feeling frustrated in your job and wondering if the effort you are putting into your work is appreciated. It’s good to notice that appreciation is important to you. And it can be helpful to step back and assess what is or is not happening that has you feeling underappreciated.
You may question if your boss recognizes your commitment or takes for granted your long hours and hard work, thinking of it as the norm, and what has become the expectation of your workload.
In my work with clients who are unhappy with their job setting, I sometimes see and hear their frustration of not feeling appreciated. This is often the final straw in their decision to leave a job.
As we work together to clarify what would be their ideal work situation, I encourage clients to look at past and current jobs for the insights they can offer. Not only does this offer clarity about what they may want for their next job, it helps them to see what part they may be playing in their dissatisfaction.
An example of this occurred with Dan, a client who came to me with the goal of finding a new job. He reported that he wasn’t enjoying his work and wanted to look at some possibilities with other companies. He didn’t feel that the issue was with the work itself but rather the manager for whom he worked. He wanted to feel recognized and appreciated for the effort he put into his work. As things were, he felt no regard from his boss.
As we looked at the steps toward securing a more satisfying work setting, we also looked more closely at how Dan approached and perceived his work. Our discussions helped him to see the attitude he had developed from his frustration and how that attitude was now compounding his unhappiness. Through some focused coaching, he came to understand that his patterns around how he perceived the need for appreciation were, in fact, getting in the way of his ability to take in the appreciation that was being expressed by his boss and co-workers.
Seeing the part that he played in his own frustration helped Dan to take proactive steps toward getting his need for appreciation met. Through shifts in his approach to his work, along with productive conversations with his boss, he was able to improve their relationship and move out of his frustration. He achieved a clearer sense of connection to his work as well as the ability to recognize the very real appreciation that was being shown for his efforts.
If you’re like most people, the need to feel appreciated in your work is a key component to job satisfaction. Sometimes your dedication is reflected in your willingness to work long hours, to take work home and to put in the level of effort that meets the expectations and standards for your job responsibilities. If you wonder if your endeavors are noticed and valued, try these suggestions to get your answer.
1. Ask your boss. Be sure to listen to the answer and avoid any tendency to look for appreciation in the words that you would use to give it. Try to recognize appreciation in your boss’ language and expression.
2. Take in the appreciation that is already there. A sense of being part of the team, inclusion in higher-level communications, positive feedback on a project (from any source – it does not always have to be your boss) can help you feel valued.
3. Communicate your efforts and/or progress. Be comfortable with tooting your own horn. Periodically, let your boss know of things you are accomplishing that might not be readily seen. But be careful not to tip into bragging, whining or complaining.
4. Notice the level of appreciation you are feeling in other areas of your life. Sometimes an individual’s need for appreciation in their work is strong when they are not feeling appreciated in another area of their life. If this is the case, consider applying steps 1 and 2, in other areas of your life.
5. Consider whether or not your need for appreciation has been a factor in past jobs. If this issue is repeating itself, it may a reflection of a driving need in you that is difficult to fill. In this case, rather than change jobs, consider if the trouble might be rooted in differences in communication styles.
For instance, your boss may feel that she is communicating appreciation as she makes sure to connect with you each morning. However, you may need to hear your efforts mentioned in front of your peers to really feel appreciated. This disconnect in styles may be the issue, not whether or not you are truly appreciated.
If you’re experiencing frustration in your work, perhaps a lack of appreciation, consider the above steps to see what action you might take to shift out of your frustration. If you would like more support with your goals or vision, consider hiring a career coach to help you create new avenues to success.
Trish Pratt, a career and corporate coach who lives in Acton, helps individuals and companies translate outstanding careers to business success. For more information, visit www.momentumcoaching.com.
