|
|
|
"Free-Range Kids"
By Lenore Skenazy
Jossey-Bass
225 pages, $24.95
Park the helicopter. Take a step back. Then take another step back.
That's the advice syndicated columnist Lenore Skenazy has for hovering parents who fear a child's baby steps toward independence are inevitably destined to end in disaster.
"Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry" was born from a New York Sun column Skenazy wrote about allowing her 9-year-old son to take a subway ride home. On his own. In New York City. In 2008.
Skenazy's trust in her son and the world around him earned scorn from a host of media pundits. In the months before Octomom Nadya Suleman's story surfaced, Skenazy earned the dubious distinction of "America's Worst Mom" to some of her more vocal critics.
There were others who quietly applauded her for taking off a layer of bubble-wrap and letting her child fend for himself for an hour in an environment that was familiar territory to him.
I was in the cheering section, though I questioned her decision to write about it. Chiding parents for believing they're keeping their kids safe makes me nervous about tempting fate.
But Skenazy's got sense enough to know smugness is an open invitation for a cosmic comeuppance.
She's also got sense enough to point out a few things, like the chances of a neighbor poisoning Halloween candy are roughly zero, the odds of a child being abducted by a stranger aren't much higher, and there's no evidence "Baby Einstein" tapes make a kid more likely to be accepted to Harvard.
"Free-Range Kids," due out this month, pokes holes in assumptions that danger lurks everywhere and every adult should be considered a possible threat to your child. "Play Dates and Axe Murderers: How to Tell the Difference" is her first "commandment."
She's not big on "experts," other than those who follow the advice of Dr. Benjamin Spock, who famously opened his iconic guide to childcare with the words, "Trust yourself." She's very big on reality checks, reminding readers humans sustained themselves quite well for several millenia without the benefit of kneepads for crawling tots.
Skenazy's gentle but wry humor comes through loud and clear. The concept of letting kids play on their own "is disappearing faster than polar bears in an Al Gore PowerPoint." "The TV Yule log is still there if a kid really wants to watch. Provided he's properly supervised, of course."
"Free-Range Kids"
By Lenore Skenazy
Jossey-Bass
225 pages, $24.95
Park the helicopter. Take a step back. Then take another step back.
That's the advice syndicated columnist Lenore Skenazy has for hovering parents who fear a child's baby steps toward independence are inevitably destined to end in disaster.
"Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry" was born from a New York Sun column Skenazy wrote about allowing her 9-year-old son to take a subway ride home. On his own. In New York City. In 2008.
Skenazy's trust in her son and the world around him earned scorn from a host of media pundits. In the months before Octomom Nadya Suleman's story surfaced, Skenazy earned the dubious distinction of "America's Worst Mom" to some of her more vocal critics.
There were others who quietly applauded her for taking off a layer of bubble-wrap and letting her child fend for himself for an hour in an environment that was familiar territory to him.
I was in the cheering section, though I questioned her decision to write about it. Chiding parents for believing they're keeping their kids safe makes me nervous about tempting fate.
But Skenazy's got sense enough to know smugness is an open invitation for a cosmic comeuppance.
She's also got sense enough to point out a few things, like the chances of a neighbor poisoning Halloween candy are roughly zero, the odds of a child being abducted by a stranger aren't much higher, and there's no evidence "Baby Einstein" tapes make a kid more likely to be accepted to Harvard.
"Free-Range Kids," due out this month, pokes holes in assumptions that danger lurks everywhere and every adult should be considered a possible threat to your child. "Play Dates and Axe Murderers: How to Tell the Difference" is her first "commandment."
She's not big on "experts," other than those who follow the advice of Dr. Benjamin Spock, who famously opened his iconic guide to childcare with the words, "Trust yourself." She's very big on reality checks, reminding readers humans sustained themselves quite well for several millenia without the benefit of kneepads for crawling tots.
Skenazy's gentle but wry humor comes through loud and clear. The concept of letting kids play on their own "is disappearing faster than polar bears in an Al Gore PowerPoint." "The TV Yule log is still there if a kid really wants to watch. Provided he's properly supervised, of course."
She offers tips on "Going Free Range" at the end of each chapter, but it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing proposition. There are Baby Steps, such as "Cross the street with your school-age child, without holding hands. Make 'em look around at the traffic." Brave Steps, "Immediately stop Googling any and all combinations of the words 'toxic,' 'childhood,' 'should,' 'esteem,' 'whole grain,' 'cover-up' and 'guilt."' And Giant Leaps, "Find one thing you've pushed your kids to do that they don't really like and aren't good at, and let them drop it."
She's not setting herself up as "America's Best Mom" here, nor does she advocate turning back the clock to the point of getting rid of seat belts, bike helmets and smoke detectors.
She's not calling for a return of sweatshop labor for 9-year-olds, either, just lamenting the loss of freedom to have a babysitting or lawn-mowing job, and the loss of creativity that comes with having a toy box filled with battery-powered gadgets.
Skenazy's antidotes and anecdotes are well worth a read.
Particularly if you're a parent who thinks giving a youngster space to grow is a radical approach to child-rearing.
Julia Spitz can be reached at 508-626-3968 or jspitz@cnc.com.
